Wednesday, November 9, 2011

I've been gone for a pretty long time, but..

It's not really gotten too much better, but it's quiet relaxed at least. Better not to complain about the decent life I'm having right now rather than looking a gifted horse in the mouth.. Well, I have moved and everything is done with the other house, that was a major thing. I've still paying several fees which.. once again I've fallen behind on a bit because getting a job around these parts is getting practically impossible (I'm still trying, I wish there was something that I really enjoyed falling in my lap, but that's not realistic...) Well, on another note, I'm still wanting to become known in the Esports area, but I can't do much because I'm lacking consoles/games/gear.. and I really would spend money on getting all that again and getting a TV, yet.. I know I can't just spend money on things I really want to do over things I need to do... I don't want to be one of the people who complain that their income isn't enough when all they do is buy pure luxury... sigh...

It would be amazing to get help getting started once again... I know I'm good.. I know I can do well with others and I can do a lot of other things, but without anything, sponsors or any real income to help myself out.. I can't get anywhere.. anyways, dreams are just dreams, they may be a reality, one day, but if not.. it's okay..

I hope everyone is doing alright.. I may do a post here and there again just to vent or talk to myself/commentate to myself haha..

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Sorry for everyone following my blog.

[ Listening to: songs by Luck Her ] [2]
I'm very sorry to everyone who has been following my blog, or even realized that I stopped posting, but things have been going on worse than usual and for some reason, I haven't been able to keep myself together or on track/multitask-ive? as before..

I might as well rant for a minute then..

Lately, I've been more depressed as usual, as most people are, at least under my assumption and what I've seen with most people. I guess, one of the issues deals with finances, which a few are my fault, driving tickets, which actually is part of the reason I started a blog to make a bit of cash here and there to help out with those and other fines, and then there is the issue with a court cost for something I don't recall even doing, but so far, it seems like the court is going to go in favor of the "non-Hispanic" individual... I'm not calling "bs" or anything about how the United States works, even though I do believe there is something clearly wrong with it, but I guess there's going to be a major set back.. Those being the financial issues, aside from me moving sometime here soon to a new house because of a potential foreclosure.. sigh, what a surprise.. anyways..

There are other issues that have been going on with me, not saying I purely have it bad compared to others, but at the moment, I've been having medical issues, that clearly have gotten worse throughout the years, that doctors clearly have not figured out what is wrong, hell, personally I think I could just use an inhaler and possibly a very small painkiller with help figuring out why my liver/kidney may feel pickled.. or why my lungs (especially my left lung) can't expand that well.. or where the random pains in my chest come from besides "unknown reasons" as the doctors have put it.. Those being physical issues, then comes the mental issues that I've personally tried to fix myself, I tried medication, but that never really helped, even though lately, I've been thinking of seeing if I could put some money towards that and see if I can get an actually good psych/therapist that knows what they are doing and knows personal experiences rather than textbook answers/remedies..
Let me begin talking about a few problems that I feel like I helped myself or have figured out how to temporarily "fix.."
Severe Suicidal thoughts, mostly cleared and most physical attempts are gone, lately they have come back out of nowhere though...
Depression of where I can't enjoy anything nor want to do anything (the enjoying issue, I can't fix or haven't been able to do much about regardless of what I do, but 'want' to do something is to simply force yourself to do something and hope for the best, which slightly works..)
I used to see dead people... ;___; Sadly, I can't lie about that.. nor want to joke about it.. they would just be laying there or fall out of the sky onto the floor out of nowhere or they would be there already.. I know a conversation with a friend where he thought I was joking... anyways...
Eating issues.. more like, I never wanted to eat nor do I want to now, but I force myself to eat as much as I can.. : / not really a good thing, but if I don't, I would simply not eat at all..
My memory is starting to go A-wall on me and I simply can't remember as well nowadays..
I feel like my reading/spelling issues are coming back.. : / it feels like dislexia, but it's not at least I'm sure it's not.. just temporary issues, where I would spells words backwards like... "sdrawkcabs" without even realizing it.. or I would swap certain letters like.. "raed" when I mean "read" or I would simply be forgetting words like "the, a, and or other words" : / but, idk..

Well, enough of the pity party, : / I just have to get myself through this and think of something....
.__.; sorry for people who actually care about my blog and wanted to keep reading, I'm trying...

I'll try to post some time soon about the bill that may sensor a lot of the internet or more like, where you can't upload/stream any videos, movies, documents or anything without direct consent of any company or you can be fined a few thousand dollars (u.s.a only) or even get 5 years in prison for simply uploading a video game trailer/review with 10second footage... sad to say that is extreme, but we can't do much.... like I said, hopefully I post things up about it.. : /

v.v thanks people.. sorry once again for not keeping people updated..

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Thursday, June 23, 2011

League of Legends request / OC? =3=

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[ Listening to: Nero Esstential Mix ] [ 2 ]
I know I asked for request and this being one of the only ones I got.. xD Not trying to weasel my way out of it like I just want attention or something... Idk.. but.. I only have played for a month or three weeks, and I don't want to say I'm amazing or better than most, but I'm pretty decent. I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you would like more information of this, I can't do much to inform you, but I know a guy that does an excellent job on keeping tabs on League of Legends and talks about the newest and possibly soon to come stuff, so I would suggest you check him out if you're really interested in it.
Add me if you would like to play, I'm level 14 and I mostly only play Ashe as I main support and C.arrow like a champ especially spawn C.arrows (even though most people just say Arrow, but I like the term C.arrow for her ulti.)
Please support him if you like what he post, which honestly, I say he has some grade A material compared to most and he does a damn well job for keeping up with his post and the detail is pretty nice.


Original Content, oh gosh, I'm trying to aim for two post in one because I wasn't on yesterday, xD I was busy getting my life together.


.___.; Wow, I can't think of anything.
OC comics? .___.; I'm not really funny...
OC blogs? .___.; I'm trying... well, slightly more with my other blog...
OC videos? .___.; My camera doesn't want to work with my laptop and my Duo Card doesn't want to work
OC D: I don't know what to do about that.....

.___.; I'll figure something you, I'll assure you...
o.O Video games/real life commentary from videos....? maybe? .___.; emoticon spam.... anyways..

I'll think of something and I'll do my best to keep up with everyone's post in the meanwhile. alright?

Keep it classy people! ) [ 1 ] ) [ 2 ]
(I would embed the second link, but it cuts off 40 minutes of the set list I believe, P.S. it's a 1:59:00 set list )

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Another day of a not so brilliant bost.. XD

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There's not much to say about this, haha...
Simply that two days ago there was a "Where's Wally" Guinness world record break of having so many wally's in one area. Oh, and Waldo is the name is used for the U.S. version of "Where's Wally(Waldo)" and Wally for other countries.

If anyone has suggestions for what you may be interested in, that would be great of you guys to post asking if you want something in particular, but if not, that's fine. :3 Just curious to other's opinions. ) [ 1 ]

Monday, June 20, 2011

League of Legends

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[ Listening to: The Lobby Music in Live stream ]
[ Listening to: Rainy Strobe by Deamau5 & Rainymood ] [ 2 ]

Not much to talk about today...
I've not really done anything, it's only 10am though.

I guess, I'll keep the post simple today.
(Sorry, I didn't see an embed code and I didn't want to create a duplicate code extraction from the actual site, seemed like it wouldn't work to some degree and my HTML reading skills are slightly out of practice.)

I woke up (no breakfast) to my alarm on my cell that was ringing at the wrong time and I haven't been able to sleep for some bizzare reason.. I also woke up to it raining and hearing my laptop crashing, I'm wondering how long it was crashed for still.... Just bored, I guess.

Oh, if someone feels like making suggestions of anything they feel like hearing about, that would be nice to hear, if not, that's fine as well.
Same goes with my other Blog [3] )[ 1 ] ) [ 2 ] ) [ 3 ]

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Alice('s): Madness and Alice: Madness Returns

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[ Listening to:  I'm a monster by Lil Wayne ] [ 2 ]
Firstly, I'm not too familiar with the entire series nor know about every little detail myself, but from what I casually glanced at, it has caught my interest.

Almost everyone knows about the series of "Alice In Wonderland" and possibly have seen the film or read the book when we younger. He was filled with several interesting concepts and rather peculiar drawing styles; It had  a unique way of play on words or elaborate wordplay. Well, in all the original story (the Disney aired one, not the very original one) was what I grew up with and it presented a brilliant concept in a more friendly style, which should be for children rather than the very first Alice, but I would suggest it for people now.

In rough, the story is about a girl who had memories about living in a place named "Wonderland." This world was her home away from home, but as people see it now, the way away from home, is sometimes better our actual home. Well, in this self created memory, she uses things that have happened in her life and those small things impact her Wonderland. We all grasp the concept of the importance of time and it's significance in the role of a dream or memory: time flies, time exist, but in all, it doesn't play a role in self created memories nor in dreams. Another example, of "real life experiences" affecting her dreams...
Well, let me put it like this real quick.
Dreams is the idea presented by Disney's Alice.
Memories are what the original author and the American McGee's Alice lives off of.
Disney's being more comprehensive to younger viewers and the original and followers are for those who view things as more realistic.

Back to what I was saying...
Another example, of "real life experiences" affecting her dreams/memories was the figure of the rabbit or white animals or variations/reincarnations of white. The color white usually has the connotation of "savior" or "leads the way to enlightenment." In all forms of Alice, the rabbit and white figures all guide her to her next location of where she should be, which I guess is very straightforward.

The thing with McGee's, and the original and the movie that came out not long ago, have followed more of the realistic thing because it's not always cheerful and the actual thought of a memory. A memory has more of an impact on us both physically and mentally, which is rather impressive, but the issue of  "not socially acceptable" is brought out in all the three, technically four.
Let's take for example Alice McGee's current version of Alice: Madness Returns, the beginning starts with a quick narration of her being in a "house for the inept and insane" which everyone knows, that Alice was depicted as someone who had a double life which impacted her normal life, for the better. The thing in Madness Returns, she is there because she lost her family and her house in a fire and people believed that she suffered severe issues and was being needed to be locked up. With locking her up, her once Wonderland was now corrupted with the terrible past and her current depression. Which I guess, you can call it the Alternative Reality to Wonderland where there is more bad than good to her once Wonderland, the Wonderland most grew up with.

Which I guess, is a quick and rough explanation of the series, I can explain more, if you guys would like, but here's a videos to game play to McGee's versions of Alice, which personally is pretty good.

The very top video (1) is a play through (the first part of a commentator's run-through) of the first game of American McGee's Alice, I believe on Playstation and PC?
The second video (3) is a trailer to the second installment of American McGee's Alice.
The third video (4) is the first episode of the actual game by my favorite commentator channel, The Yogscast [ 5 ].

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Saturday, June 18, 2011


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[ Listening to: All's Well That Ends Well (full album) by Chiodos ] [ 2 ]

Do you feel like listening to music, but actually being able to choose what you want to listen without monthly cost, over-sized ads on every corner and/or annoying survery's or signups?

:l No... but seriously..

About 4 years ago, 2007?, I remember being in school and never being able to use any website to listen to music because of barracuda (filtering software) and there would be some days where I would stay a little after with my mother (who taught ESL classes in another building that still belonged to my school) and I would play games online there. Well, I eventually got tired because in game music sometimes gets very boring and so I decided to do a hunt for a site that allowed me to listen to music, found millions. The issue was, I couldn't choose all the music from one artist, I would have to listen to music from one band and then a random one, sometimes without a connection in the slightest to the one prior to it.
So after a few days of looking, I came across Grooveshark (back then, it was called Listen.Grooveshark , to me at least, until they change the URL to simply Grooveshark).

Well, hail Mary, this was what I exactly wanted:
I could listen to full CD's no monthly charges and at no cost. ;)
I could even listen to CD's before they were out.
I could randomize it if I wanted to.
I could browse people and genres I never even heard of.
And, back then, my playlist would always save without requirement of making an account, even though that isn't a real hassle.

Anyways, over the years, the added Themes (which at the moment, I personally like the Deadmau5 one that strobes? I guess.) ability to listen to music anywhere you want to via phone or anything (if you pay for that, which is now rather ridiculously expensive, but fully worth it since you would paying more for one CD rather than unlimited usage of millions of songs for less than that.) and several other things.

Personally, I still like it better than Last.FM and Pandora, hopefully they get it on the Xbox 360, PS3 and/or Wii and hell, the usage would be out of the roof and I think last.FM would almost go down under.

Anyways, that's enough. I like the site, check it out if you're tired of using youtube to listen to music.
;) Or for those who know.... "" to listen to the same song without clicking it. ) [ 1 ] ) [ 2 ] ) [ X ] The actual site ) [ X ] random information if you're interested in them.